My Mental Health Story.

This is very different to previous posts, but here it goes! This post isn't me looking for attention or sympathy, but the mental health issue in Ireland is getting out of hand, especially in Galway. Hearing that someone you know has gone missing overnight, hasn't been heard from or isn't answering their phones or texts is awful! We need to make a stop to this and start helping each other out, look around on a night out and make sure nobody goes out on their own. There is always help and you are not alone, you may be surprised how many people can relate to how you are feeling.

So here is my mental health story, it may not sound like a big deal, but to me each day was a battle.

I had really bad anxiety practically all my life, it would be a nervous anxious yet excited feeling, if that makes any sense. I'd feel very sick before going somewhere with my friends or family but as the day would go on or the event would go on, luckily my anxiety would go away. Doctors told me I would grow out of it and that really used to wreck my head because I felt awful all the time,
This started when I was around 8 years old and continued until I was a teenager. It wouldn't happen all the time, but it was the start of it.

2015 was the year my anxiety got out of control. I felt sick a lot that year and even if I had the energy to leave the house, I didn't want to because I felt awful, I hid that feeling for awhile and just continued feeling down- BAD IDEA.
I started taking rescue remedy recommended by a friend of mine, which really did help me a lot! I still use it if I feel a LITTLE bit nervous and it luckily does the trick.

So now you're probably thinking 'but that's nothing, it's not that serious'. Well this is only part of it, wait until you hear the part about me not wanting to leave my house and crying nearly everyday.

I was very sick during the Summer last year! I remember the day I went to the Ed Sheeran concert last year with my friends I had headaches all day and felt like a huge burden on everyone. I didn't want to ruin their night and have them look after me and not enjoy it, I wasn't looking forward to it because I was very anxious that day and everyone knows how much I love Ed Sheeran, it's played so much in the house that my mam knows the words to his songs! :P But I pushed through the day and acted like my headaches weren't there, I listened to Ed singing and roared the lyrics until I lost my voice and it was the best night of 2015, and 2015 wasn't my favourite year.
My headaches eventually went and then one day they came back and the pain was unbearable, so I was taken to hospital. I was discharged as all my tests came back negative (thank goodness) and I was prescribed with amitriptyline, an antidepressant used to treat headaches. I took a week off school and went in for a half day and I was really happy to see my friends. I felt like I was getting back to normal, but the tablets made me so tired all I wanted to do was sleep, that was why I went into school for half days, literally so I could come home to sleep and then study, my principal was so supportive and understood completely if I needed anything.
My second day of school I was in class and I was very tired, but I just got on with it, until I walked upstairs and collapsed into a sleep. I went home and I stopped taking the tablets and just kept resting until I felt well enough to go back to school.
So you're still thinking 'but this isn't a big deal, what's this got to do with anxiety'. Well, this is where it got really bad. I was miserable all the time, I had no energy, I was crying all the time and felt awful. Anytime I left my house, I'd feel sick and tired and I'd get even more upset. My parents were always worrying about me and I was doing my best not to cry in front of them and not make them feel bad, but I was so miserable all the time I couldn't help it.
My parents were amazing. Mam would wake me up and convince me to get out of bed, we'd watch movies and would ring my friends to come over to keep me company. She'd always do her best to make me smile and always told me to take each day as it comes. My dad would tell me everyday that they were going to do everything they could to make me happy again.
Each day became longer and slower, I missed almost 2 months of school and I was so lost in trying to teach myself the subjects- it seriously isn't easy. That's another thing I was worried about was school. The big leaving cert. I kept convincing myself I wasn't going to repeat the school year. I always found school difficult anyway, so the solution we came to was homeschooling, but more about that later. I eventually went to my local GP who has helped me out so much. I remember when I first went in. I just burst out crying and told him I want to get better and not be afraid of my front door anymore. He was so helpful and didn't make me feel bad about myself. We talked and I go to him regularly to chat, and each time I go back to him, he always tells me he notices a difference in me since the first time I met him, so talking to someone really does help, or else writing all your feelings down in a diary. I'd write down 3 good things that happen each day, it was difficult at first so the first day I wrote 'I got up out of bed when I didn't feel like it, I watched my favourite movie and laughed and I spoke to my friend on the phone'. Simple I know, but doing this made me realise that little things can make you happy!
My Granny told me her friend suffered from bad anxiety and helped herself get better. I was curious of how she done so, so I asked her what did she do. She reads a book 'Living with IT' and she said it's her bible and takes it everywhere with her. I ordered it straight away and as soon as it arrived in the post I had it all read in an hour, it blew my mind. There is loads of animations to demonstrate how it makes you feel, some parts made me laugh because the animations were so silly but so true, it says anxiety is like an invisible dinosaur following you around in your mind, and let's face it, it is. So now I do the same thing and carry it everywhere with me in my hand bag. The contents page lets you go to what you're feeling anxious about, then I just open the page, read through it to reassure myself.
I also started reading up on anxiety more, and read different peoples stories. I meditate now and again if I feel on edge and it works.


I was nervous starting homeschooling, would the teachers laugh at me for asking 'silly questions' or think i'm a freak for not going to school. It was the complete opposite. They were all so friendly and helped me get back into a study pace, it was difficult at first but I eventually got myself into a routine. It is tough as I have each subject once a week but when you work at something you get good results.

Another thing I had a fear of was going out to a nightclub, 'how crazy is that'you're thinking. It was a struggle, but eventually my friends got me out and they made me realise I had nothing to worry about. A group of us went out for my best friends 19th birthday and I have to say it was a brilliant night. They made sure I was ok, and best of all helped me get over my fear. Now I look forward to going out with my friends and having a bit of craic! :)

I'm very lucky to have people look out for me such as my family and close friends. Now I am really happy, some days are better than others, but whenever I feel down now, I think back to the time I felt like crap and compare it to how I actually feel now.
There's always help out there and nobody will look down on you just because you don't feel ok.
I look forward to things more now and do my best to take time for myself.

Thank you to my family and friends for getting me this far and not a day goes by that I am not grateful.



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